Hello Doctor I think you website is great and hope you can help me with some advice. I have just returned to London following a Holiday in Ibiza just of the coast of spain. On one drunken night i picked up a black sex worker of the street and went back to my Hotel. We had sex (vaginal fingering and kissing but because i was extremely drunk i can remember every detail. When i woke up in the morning i raced in to the bathroom were the used condom was in the bin. I pulled it out and it had me ejaculate in it and the condom was intact. I also had a tiny cut on my index finger above the nail. However this had already began to heal. What freaks me out is i cant remember every detail and now worry if the condom was on all the time. I popped in to my local GUM clinic and the nurse told me not to worry and that it is extremely rare even if you didn't wear a condom at all. I have read the 1:1000 rate various boards including MH have mentioned which really helps. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on the situation and what sort of risk i could possibly be in. What make things worse is my old partner wants to get back together with me after a few months apart which has added to the anxiety because i do too. Your thoughts and advice will be greatly appreciated.
2015-04-07 04:15:12
Welcome back to the forum. It seems apparent that you indeed used a condom for vaginal sex even if you don't recall the details. And I would reassure you in very strong terms even if you did not for exactly the reasons you state (the low transmission risk for any single unprotected vaginal sex exposure) and would also add that it is statistically unlikely your partner had HIV. (I don't know any data about HIV epidemiology in Ibiza but throughout almost all of Europe the frequency of heterosexually transmitted HIV in general and of HIV in sexually active women remains very low.) For those reasons I agee exactly with the advice you received at the GUM clinic. If I were in your situation I wouldn't worry would not be tested for HIV and would resume unprotected sex with my wife without fear of putting her at risk for HIV or other STDs from this incident. But of course you are free to ask the GUM clinic to test you anyway if negative test results would reinforce the reassurance from both me and the clinic as well as your own understanding (intellectual if not emotional). I hope this has helped ease your concerns. Best wishes
2015-04-07 04:15:59
