not Sure if this is this kind of thinking is unique to me due to being blessed with autism or not.
It seems like my entire life livingthinking and being inside my head has always felt very natural to me.
While I could interact and speak to people When I wanted to or needed to more often then it I had ended up finding myself aloneaway from peoplethinking deeply and complexly about somethinggreatly focusing upon itanalyzing itlooking for proof and evidence and evidence with this feeling in in my mind that gave me a feeling a how probable and likely something was without having to completely go though what I had just managed to think though.
at times even I found myself thinking about a possible future conversation that might come up in the future and sometimes they did and I would often attempt to think though the many possible answers and responses and which ones were most likely to happen.
it's a strategy I had used to make up for just verbally speaking about something just not feeling as natural as speaking. I find it's rather easy to come up with a short simple spontaneous answer but if you were to go into debateor a deep and complex topic I usually just broke out the conversations I had already rehearsed and thought though in my head.
This for most of my life has come naturally and easily for me.
but more recently over the past 2 months or so it has felt like my ability to do this think deeply and complexlyto think of and put together a complex mental model or concept of something has been in decline and is but a mere tiny fraction of what it once was.
that feeling that I mentioned above that helps me feel a sense of probability on how likely something is ba
2014-11-14 11:33:04
and It feels like any memories that have already gone though this mental process over time I begin to feel unsure of them because I can't check them and put any kind of evidence for or against them and the longer time goes onmore the more shall we say corrupted the accuracy of these memories become at least for the ones that I attempt to recall. even now it feels like I can't completely believe every word I'm sayingbecause I it feels like I can't check for the probability of how right or correct it feels. and for other thingssuch as remembering an event or thing that has passed after a certain amount of time has pasted has become more difficult. about 2 months ago remember feeling a popping sensation deep with in in the back left side of my head.a few days later I if felt like my facec went numb and I could not feel the left side of my body as much of the right side. from there a week later I recall feeling this weird sensation it was for a brief moment it felt like my body and brain was talking in stimuli from my senses but nobody was there in my head as if I did not exit inside my headalmost as if everything that made meme was not put together and then a moment later it felt like I had come back together inside my own head. hours later I felt this pressure deep inside the back center of my head which again was relieved somewhat something after I had felt a similar popping sensation. sense then I have occasionally felt then pressure on and off sometimes with small popping sensations and others with slightly bigger ones. the most recent one which felt like it was pretty big happened a few days ago. it felt like it was closer to the top to middle and ever to slight front part of my head. almost more recently I has been feeling this pressure around the front of my head and this painful sensation coming from a vain on the right side of my temples with occasional very short lived feelings of of a pin like or spike like pain ether around the left back side of my head and sometimes in the front as well. What do you think is going on here?
2014-11-14 11:33:42